(With apologies in advance to those who had outstanding input for the blog for this week... This topic needed to come first but I promise I will use the material we've all discussed for next week's piece. Thanks again!)
Well kiddies, it's that time once again. Something has annoyed me to the very fiber of my being, and yes I realize that said fiber might be slightly mud stained and tattered. Simply put, I'd like to make a request of all the retailers out there:
Quit freakin' tinkering with Black Friday already!!!
Look, I work for a quasi-retail organization. Believe it or not, for most of my adult life, Black Friday has been one of the longest days of the year for me but by the very same token it's also been one of the most fun. This is now the fourteenth year I've worked Black Friday in some capacity and at least ten of it has been at the management level. It's an awesome day. Usually that single day generates an enormous amount of sales and income and, when set up correctly and planned for appropriately, can create a successful year out of the economic doldrums all by itself. I'm even a fan of pre-sales on Wednesday night. Awesome. Right on. Let's all go make or spend that money and celebrate capitalism and consumerism in all their righteous glory.
BUT SINCE WHEN IS IT NECESSARY TO OPEN AT 10PM ON THANKSGIVING NIGHT - WAL MART - JUST TO CAPITALIZE ON A FEW MILLION EXTRA DOLLARS IN REVENUE?
Granted I understand that I just answered my own question. As long as there is some bleeding brained basket case who just received their yearly bonus check and can't wait the extra five hours until the stores open there will be some corporate pencil pusher with the audacity to say "Hey Boss, let's open seven hours earlier just for the extra couple of zeros!!"
I have but two words for Skippy from Accounting who thought this was genius finally taking a shiny shit on his desk: FUCK YOU.
I see no reason under God's green and verdant that we as a nation have allowed ourselves to become so driven to buy the perfect whatever for whomever that we have decided that it is okay to shit all over a national holiday like a lactose intolerant midget after a gallon of milk and skydiving lessons. I just don't get it. And let's not forget the employees who have to facilitate this socioeconomic capriciousness. What, did one of Sam Walton's DNA experiments decide that all of his employees must be overweight losers and just assume they didn't need to celebrate Thanksgiving with their families, eat a good meal, and maybe just chill the hell out for a day?
Like I said, I am a huge fan of the event we call Black Friday. Just keep it on Friday where it belongs and don't do any more to heap more ruin on one of the actually few cool holidays we have left.
I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving and is actually able to take the time to appreciate what they are truly thankful for this year. Anyone who finds themselves stuck in my area without anything to do for the holiday this year feel free to give me a call. I'm cooking a turkey just for the heck of it. Somebody's got to eat it!
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