Faith and Religion

One of my all time without reservation idols when it comes to the expression of ideas over the last fifteen plus years is one Mr. Dennis Miller.  As I wade in to the mire on my first real post for my blog, I'd like to cue up the Tears for Fears soundtrack, don a now slightly dated mid-nineties suit and open with an homage to one of the greats.

I don't want to get off on a rant here but I am so very, very tired of overtly religious people that I am ready to start volunteering to jump on the short bus to idiotville and begin committing hate crimes in alphabetical order, beginning with 'ass-kicking.'

Before I wind off any further into this diatribe I want to make sure I clarify a few things.  I see a tremendous difference between people of faith and 'religious people.'  My parents are people of faith.  They're devout in their belief in God and have spent their lives not only living their faith but doing all they can to foster the good works of the church in their community and around the world.  I also would like to clarify that this little discussion has nothing to do with one particular faith or another.  My circle of friends comprises a good majority of the religious spectrum from main stream Southern Baptist to dark closet Pagan and most points in between and I have full respect for all of their beliefs.  I treasure the experience of knowing these people and the richness their faith brings to them both as an individual and member of our collective community. 

Where I start losing respect and start gaining vehement, full-on, eight-and-a-half-foot tall and covered in bad shag carpeting rabid Wookie-esque rage is when I get confronted with some holier than thou ass clown who gets a sense of entitlement from where they spend their collective Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.  Well, that and Scientologists, but they don't inspire rage as much as I just don't get it.  I've tried but I just don't get it.  Nothing about me will ever be 'clear,' so take your audit and go sit in the corner and play with your amulet made from L. Ron's ashes and leave me the hell alone.

I have lived in the south all of my life.  I consider myself to be very blue collar in work ethic and sensibility with a college education thrown in for good measure.  I work on a daily basis with people of, on some days literally, almost the entire spectrum of socioeconomic classes.  I can start the day dealing with someone just released from prison and trying to restart their life and the very next phone call can be from a representative from a national company.  I consider one of the perks of my day job to be that I get to talk to, quite literally, a wide freakin' swath of everybody.  I live and work in the Raleigh metropolitan area which is as wide a cross section of cultures as you can imagine in microcasm without having to travel to more multinational destinations such as New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, etcetera.

Out of all of those people from all of those places, why is it that I seem to find myself dead center bullseye in the crosshair of at least one butt nuggett a day who wants to use the fact that they spend two hours a week semi-sober and in what used to pass for nice clothes as justification for whatever malfeasance they have chosen to commit? 

I'll even provide an example for those who think I may just be exaggerating in the slightest.  A few days ago I was dealing with a gentleman over the phone and we came down on opposite sides of a financial discussion regarding his dealings with my employer.  When the discussion did not go his way and he was faced with an adverse outcome he proceeded to inform me that he was going to pray that God would judge me for being such a cold and unfeeling person.  Granted I had to remain professional at the time but I've got to admit that even though it's not my personal belief in any way I wanted to stop the conversation and ask the man if what he meant was that he was going to tattle on me to his imaginary friend and get me in trouble.  Really?  You're going to 'tell God on me?'  Isn't God, in whatever form you choose to believe in, at the most basic omniscient you reprobative piece of crotch offal?  Doesn't he already know this anyway you obviously ignorant pile of regret from your mother's misspent youth?  Seriously?

And the saddest part of all of it is that the worst offenders in this are members of the clergy.  I won't drag anyone out in the open here as I do have enormous respect for those members of the clergy who live as they should as true shepherds of their flock.  I will just simply leave it at these three points regarding the errant members of their ilk:  (1)  The collection plate is not to be used to pay for your personal bills.  That's why the church cuts you a paycheck.  God hates thieves or did you already forget the ten commandments?  (2)  Sleeping with your parishoners is not ministering to them.  It's being a horny little dick wad.  Widows/widowers are not your private dating pool.  Be the respectable leader the church pays you to be. (3) They're little boys (and girls) you disgusting pedophile.  Just because a priest did it to you last decade/week doesn't mean it's okay to continue the cycle.  'But the Monsignor did it to me' is not a defensible position, so cut it the hell out, hang yourself with your own robes and quit using decent people's oxygen.

Look people, all I'm asking for here are two simple things:  cut out the hypocrisy and just be honest.  On bended knee in front of a bar, toilet, or prostitute on Saturday night and then in the same position Sunday morning just is not going to get it people.  It's just not.  Neither is preaching for donations on television and then using that money to pay for your wife's eyelash extensions.  And neither is feeling the need for speed and dancing around in your tightie whities and a dress shirt one minute then becoming a Thetan, preaching the evil the aliens did to us all and making Valkyrie the next.  Sorry Mr. Cruise, but you sorta had that one coming.

And to conclude the homage, that's my opinion, I could, and at least in someone's opinion will burn in hell for doing so, be very wrong.  Thank you and good night.