Monday, February 27, 2012

The Adorkability Conundrum

It’s time to strengthen your vocabularies, my loyal reader(s)!
The new word for the day is “adorkable.”
“Adorkable” is an adjective that describes any action or behavior that is so far beyond the realms of normal dorkitude as to be deemed attractive and/or adorable by the opposite sex.
As used in a sentence:  David met Peter Mayhew at a Star Wars convention and got so excited he actually wet his Boba Fett cosplay outfit.  Thank God his girlfriend thought it was pretty adorkable.
Face it boys and girls, we all have our dork moments.  They are as wide and varied as the day is long.  For some of us it’s Star Wars, for others it’s Star Trek.  For some it’s D&D, others will dork out for the novels of Jim Butcher or George R.R. Martin.  For the slightly less nerd-ridden set who don’t get more than 64% of the jokes on The Big Bang Theory, maybe your inner dork gets all happy over Picasso, Mozart, Jordan, or Manning.  Maybe fashion is your goddess and words like Coach, Prada, Fendi, or whatever else is on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine this month make your inner little dorkess giggle with delight.  Maybe you still light the memorial bonfire on the day Dimebag died or you fight off the daily urge to paint a giant 3 on the side of your car.  The point is that all of us, no matter how high and mighty or lowly and trailer bound, have an inner dork that gets all stupid over something. 
The really interesting part is that some of us have a tendency to overindulge our inner dork on far to frequent an occasion for most of the rest of society.  But let me draw your attention for just a moment to the last time you saw a REALLY attractive woman with a fairly nerdy guy.  What was it about him that attracted her to start with?  Was it the death beam focusing crystal thick glasses, the oh-so-stylish double knit pants, or the more likely than not seven figure bank account?  Well, okay, the bank account probably helps a lot but the point is that somewhere in that hot mess of a man that woman found such a level of endearing dork that all his freakishness took on a sort of adorable and hard to resist quality.  Maybe she thinks if she can get him to love her just half as much as he loves Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini circa 1980 then she could be set for life.  Think of it kind of like a sexual version of Stockholm syndrome.  Lock a hot girl in close proximity with a dork long enough and something’s bound to become attractive eventually.  Call it the Leonard/Penny effect if you’d like, but I’ve now officially hit my quota for television references for one post thank you very much.
What is it about our various and sundry adorkable behaviors that our significant others find attractive?  God only knows and to be quite honest I’m not even 100% sure he’s got it completely figured out.  When it comes to adorkability, I picture God as sitting up on his celestial throne looking down at us all and saying “You know, I gave you an entire planet filled with pretty girls and all you losers can do is stampede at one Comicon after another and project your lust at yet another woman in a corset at a steampunk convention.  I don’t get it.  I just don’t get it.”  Either that or St. Peter now has two additional questions to ask at the Pearly Gates:  “Why?” and “Seriously?”
Well, shiny.  Now it’s time to run off and see if I can get in another hour long Star Wars pun marathon over Facebook.  Yes it happened this morning, deal with it.  Hopefully my wife will still find it adorkable when she sees it later this afternoon.
For now, zai jian!
(I know I know I know.  Jeez Brian, brown coat much?)   

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