The Uncommon Sense

I am so very, very done with stupid people.

Let's be clear from the beginning.  I have no issue with those who DNA, fate, or Mommy's choice of recreational substances during pregnancy have forced into a life of limited intelligence due to disability.  The mere fact that a majority of those individuals find ways to overcome those disabilities and lead fulfilling lives is truly heroic in my opinion.  I also take no issue with those who suffer an injury that diminishes their capacity.  It's not their fault, plain and simple.

My issue lies with the normal, everyday, modicum of intelligence bearing jagoff who can't seem to find a way to make it through their existence without pissing off the rest of the herd on a regular basis with their lack of common sense.  Don't get me wrong, I like to laugh at a moron as much as the next person, but when their idiocy gets in the way of everyone progressing down the turnpike of life I tend to get a bit impatient.

I still stand by the idea that we as a race are getting stupider by the day.  I remain thoroughly amazed that we need warnings on our coffee cups about the danger of hot liquids.  I am constantly confounded by cars with warning labels regarding sticking an infant in the front seat and sitting too close to an air bag.  It tickles me to no end that gas stations are switching to illustrated warnings about smoking at the pump instead of the written warning.  I find it baffling that we have to spend tax revenues to build traffic islands to help people make the correct choice when turning right or left in traffic.  Please note that I'm not talking about the random improvement here or there, but in the last two years I can think of three MAJOR construction projects on the roads (the new roundabouts on Hillborough Street around North Carolina State University, the removal of an entire lane of interstate at the intersection of I-40 and the Highway 70 bypass in Clayton, and a large chunk of Highway 70 through the city of Havelock) that we as taxpayers have had to pay for simply for the fact that too many of our brethren have decided to spontaneously thin the herd in those areas by not knowing how to properly merge into traffic or make a freaking left turn correctly.

Yes, I said thinning the herd.  If you've ever seen a video of a busy city sidewalk and the sarcastic part of your brain hasn't occasionally made moo-ing noises, well, maybe you're in the wrong place at the moment.  Face it, unique individuals among us are awesome but when you take humanity as a whole in all of its, well, glory, you have to admit that it may not be the most stellar of species.  You are also correct if you made the intuitive leap that this concept is not exactly a negative in my opinion.  There are some members of our herd that are just using our air and resources kids, in my somewhat less than humble opinion.  When they finally find their particular choice of grand exit even the least jaded of us must admit it occasionally serves as a source of inadvertent public amusement.  In fact, if you want to get down to the bare bones of it all, you almost have to acknowledge that every now and again it probably is a good thing to pour a little chlorine shock in the gene puddle anyway.

Look, we as individuals are all morons on occasion.  While Alice can think of six impossible things before breakfast I can accomplish just as many feats of sheer dumbassery well before lunch time.  All I ask is that we all try to apply that little notion of common sense at least when out in public.  Is it necessary to go to WalMart at 2 in morning?  Hey we all run out of batteries, cat litter, and whipped cream at inopportune times.  Do you have to take a moment before running out to at least decently cover yourself?  Please for the love of all that is holy.  (Yes, I know the good folks at peopleofwalmart.com would disagree, but hey, we are striving for improvement here.)  Are we all proud of little Johnny for getting his first smart phone and becoming part of the information age?  Definitely.  Does Johnny need to walk around with his music loudly playing from his jacket pocket like a personal soundtrack while he does his best Usher imitation down the aisle in a convenient store as if he really is little Michael reincarnated?  Why God, oh why?  Does little Johnny also need to have his fingers broken with a hammer for texting while driving and causing a three car pile up on I-40 that makes everyone else late for work while his ignorant ass makes it in on time?  Let me get my tool box.

I guess when all is said and done you could say that I wistfully dream of simple things.  I am nowhere near naieve enough to think we can fix people.  We're dipshits at our very nature.  Christmas lights still up in April anyone?  All I really ask is that we try to strive for self improvement.  Maybe, just maybe, if we all focus in on doing one less stupid thing in public today we could get the trend to catch on. 

While the rest of us work on it, I'll sit here in front of the television and wait for the news report that good ol' Gus yanked the emergency brake on an Amtrak yet again because he thought he saw a pretty deer on the tracks.