Thursday, August 2, 2012

Number 100

While attempting to come up with something riveting, compelling, or let's just face it not boring for the 100th post for The Cynical Sarcastic, it occurred to me that the best way to commemorate this milestone is to continue what I normally do here: applying fingers to keyboard and hoping the results don't lead to mass weeping or more public ridicule than usual.

Before I wade into the issue at hand for the day, I do want to pause for just a moment to say thank you to all of you that read the blog regularly, submit comments and questions, and just generally make this a fun experience.  I have some great guest blogs lined up over the course of the next few months as well as some other changes that I'm pretty excited about coming down the pipe. Hopefully the next 100 posts will be even better than the first (you can stop pleading with God now - I got the hint).

As many of you that have been following along since I began this blather-fest last November, I started this blog as a way to gauge whether or not my particular brand of jibber -jabber had an audience and whether or not there may be a market for my upcoming fiction projects.  Well, over 14,000 page views later I'm happy to say that the collective sales for both books have now cleared the 1000 mark.  While it may be a drop in the bucket from a mass market standpoint, I personally consider it a dream come true to be able to say I now a published author.  As a way to say thanks, I've set up a little promotion on the ebook format for each of my books.  From now through August 15th, readers of The Cynical Sarcastic can receive an ebook of either or both of my books for FREE from Smashwords.com.  Simply visit the site, choose one or both books, and enter the appropriate coupon code(s) at checkout.  The codes are as follows:
MT88V
FA49K
Make sure that you checkout each item separately so that the coupon codes work correctly.  If you've already purchased the books through other sources like Amazon, Kindle, Nook, Kobo, iBooks, or Sony, feel free to use these coupons to inflict my work on others / introduce your friends to a new author / settle a few old grudges by tormenting others randomly.  However you choose to use them, these ebook downloads are completely DRM free with these coupons so they can be viewed and shared on any e-reader, computer, tablet, smart phone, and the like.  Thank you again to everyone of my fans (it will never cease to amaze me that I can say that) and know that without your support I could not have achieved the measure of success I have both now and in the future.  Make sure to stay tuned on the blog for updates on the next three upcoming projects, Hurricane Carolina, The Shadow of Death, and Brandon Stoops' debut novel which I'm co-authoring.

Now that we've got all the thanks-you's and happy stuff out of the way, let's get on to the meat of the post.  Kids, this whole Chick-Fil-A vs. gay marriage hubbub has gotten WAY out of hand.  Honestly, and I mean this from the bottom of my happy little heart, there are some people in this country that really need to get a grip and a clue as soon as possible. I mean in the old "here's a dollar, I want you to go down to the corner store and buy yourself a clue" kind of way.

This is just fucking dumb people.  That's all there is to it.

As a company, Chick-Fil-A has never, not once, ever made any attempt to hide its religious affiliation.  Duh, they're closed on Sunday, sponsor church camps, and play religious themed music in their dining room.  Is anyone reading this REALLY surprised that the head honcho for this organization came out against gay marriage? (Yes the turn of phrase was intentional.  Deal.)  If you are truly surprised by this I have to wonder what kind of internal shock and awe campaign you fall victim to every time you see a fat kid with a cookie.  I bet a dog shaking a squeaky toy must really fuck up your afternoon, huh?  How on God's green and verdant marble can you expect a company to suddenly act outside of its given corporate culture?  That's like getting mad when you can't buy socks at McDonald's or condoms that actually fit from a vending machine (I'm just sayin....).

Do I agree with Chick-Fil-A's stance?  Of course not, but by now if you've been playing along with the home game you knew that anyway.  Am I going to boycott them or take part in some silly same sex kiss day to protest?  Hell no and woe betide some dude who gets overly friendly and caught up in the spirit should I feel the need for a chicken bagel that morning.  Kids, it's just like the whole Boy Scouts of America vs. The United Way argument several years back.  The BSA is publicly anti-homosexual.  Fine, that's their stance.  One of my best friends is an Eagle Scout.  Big deal.  Personally I'm actually kind of proud of organizations that, in our ever politically-correct-to-the-point-of-lunacy bullshit inundated world, take a stand on an issue and stick to their guns despite public opinion to the contrary on occasion.

It's called Freedom of Speech people.  You know, as in the Bill of Rights.  I know this may unsettle some of you but the same freedoms that allow Mr. Cathy to express his views allow me to indulge my propensity for verbal diarrhea on this very blog.  Do I think it was the smartest business move of all time - uh no.  Somewhere there's a team of discrimination lawyers sporting three inch trouser pole in their legal briefs just waiting for the first clam-wrestling, fudge-packing, rainbow chasing friend of Dorothy to get their knickers in a wad because Assistant Manager Chad didn't let them take their break on time.  Bet on it, it's coming, God Bless the US-freakin-A, and there's not a thing ol' Mr. Cathy can do to stop the old fryer grease hot and nasty legal ass-reaming that's heading his company's way in spades.

Folks, it's all about keeping things in perspective.  Right is right and wrong is wrong and opinions are just that.  We are all allowed to have them and express them.  The point is to stay a bit grounded with all of it.  North Carolina let Amendment One pass.  Did I get upset? Yeah.  Did it fundamentally alter my existence? Not yet, anyway.  The same goes for CFA.  In the long run. That chicken sandwich you're gnawing on a few weeks from now is the exact same recipe it's always been regardless of what some dildo harness in a high dollar suit in an office building in Atlanta thinks about whether marriage equals Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve.

Personally, I still and will support what I feel is the innate human right to be happy and marry whosoever you wish.  I think we should all do what we can to allow our fellow man to be just a little less miserable in the long run, or maybe a little more depending on your view of marriage.  I'm going to continue to believe in that and, come September 1st when I'm finally off this demonic diet, I'm going to sit my oversize body in a comfy little Chick-Fil-A booth and power down a couple of sandwiches, some nuggets, and a lemonade regardless of whether their boss thinks clam-wrestling should be an Olympic event or not. 

After all, when it comes to my food, I prefer to stick with Fat Kid Logic. Politics ain't got a damn thing to do with Fat Kid Logic.

Thanks again for a great first 100 boys and girls.  See ya next time on the C.S.

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