The Clippers Situation (semi-NSFW)

You know kids, if anyone had come to me two years ago when I started this blog and through some miracle of prognostication informed me that I'd be commenting on ANYTHING that had to do with the Clippers basketball program I would have laughed them out of my personal airspace.

But shit it does happen.

Look, with the media circus surrounding this whole nonsense I'm just going to assume you have not only heard about the issue but have an opinion.  Great.  I'm not going to try to educate anyone.  I'm just going to weigh in a bit.

First and foremost this man is a racist.  Pure and simple.  It's not even a secret in the league or for anyone around the league.  It's about as classified a piece of information in the NBA as the fact that Dean Smith is/was a smoker (I'm assuming he's quit by now) was in the ACC.  Now here's where I'm going to piss some people off:  BIG FUCKING DEAL.

Is he right for being a racist?  Of course not.  He's an ignorant ass with a lot of money who feels like the people of color who work for him AND CONSEQUENTLY MAKE HIM A GOOD DEAL OF THAT MONEY BY THE WAY owe him something like Massa up in the big house.  As Snoop Dogg so eloquently put it in his video response yesterday: click here for video

But there's something a lot more simplistic going on here that most people just don't seem to get. This guy's an idiot, sure.  His business will suffer for his idiocy. Granted. Will he lose his team because of his stupidity?  Two words:  Marge Schott.  Sanctions and fines incoming?  You bet your sweet little sugar crusted tail parts.  

But what's the real error here?

An old white dude with a pharmaceutically encouraged manhood got a piece of hot ass and let his judgment get impared by it.  Because of his inability to keep his pie hole closed around the woman he used to wave his decrepit little sausage at he has now had his (arguably) private feelings put on the national stage. He fell for the oldest play in the book:  old dude and young, hot pootie.  Pure and simple.

Dumbass on him.

There is not one of us out there who would not be horrified if our inner thoughts and feelings were suddenly published.  Not nere a one of us.  If what is in each of our heads was suddenly out there for all to see there'd be a rash of social ostracizing that would make a leper colony look like a cuddly place to live.  

Do I feel bad for the man.  Not one bit.  Could it happen to any of us?  

Bet your aforementioned sugar crusted parts on it.

Wack-A-Doo

Now kids, I usually try to reserve my name-calling for those who actually deserve it.

Oh hell, who am I kidding?  I've thrown around enough misanthropic missives and questioned enough parentage, including genus, phyllum, and species, that I'm surprised the Church of Satan hasn't contacted me for their next rewrite of their holy scripture.  You know, the gospel according to L. Ron Hubbard?  But I digress...

A couple of weeks ago we as a nation were somewhat captivated, okay had our collective interests tweaked between reality shows, by the standoff between the Bureau of Land Management and the supposedly good folks out at the Bundy Ranch in Nevada.  During that conflict I had an opportunity to speak with a gentleman who was a friend of the Bundy family that lives in my local area as I was waiting to get on air for my Thursday night radio duties.  I was initially impressed by this man's fervor and concern for his family friends and "friend-ed" him on Facebook to keep up with the goings-on, as it were.

I'm not going to call this man out by name.  I will however suffice it to say that he has the complete, utter, and total honor of being the ONLY person I have summarily deleted from my Facebook page in well over two years.  Why you  may ask?

Simple.  This moron turned out to be a wack-a-doo.

For those of you not familiar with the term, let's just say that within a very few days I had a news feed full of more anti-government rhetoric spewing horseshit from people with less than a working handle on the written form of the English language than I ever expected.  Hell, it probably landed me on the last couple of watch lists for the NSA that I wasn't already on for my tendency to say silly little stuff like "FUCK OBAMA" on a fairly regular basis.

Pardon me just a moment.  Suddenly there's a black SUV in my driveway that I don't recognize.

.....

Never mind, it was just the Omaha Steaks guy looking for new business.

Moving on.

What never ceases to amaze me is how easily these fruitbars seem to infiltrate our lives when we're not looking.  And they're really not all that obvious anymore either.  A buddy of mine recently joined a "community preparedness" group.  My first thoughts: wackadoos but at least he's out of the house more.  Come to find out they're actually just a good group of guys that are concerned by our local government's lack of disaster and emergency preparation and planning.  Hell they're all even employed and vote.  To be completely honest I wouldn't mind hanging out with these guys a bit more often.  They're not wrong.

That being said however, try doing something innocuous like say ordering a thousand feet of paracord because you're bored and want to learn new things.  All of a sudden my inbox looks like a wackadoo orgy in progress with messages telling me how much my government hates me and how civilization is going to end because of Obama.  Okay that one might be true but still.  

Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe the zombies really are coming and the Democrats really do want to take everything I own and turn our country into a monstrous homogenized mosh pit where being white and male is a crime and our only civil right is the right to shut the fuck up.  I don't know.  I also don't think there's anything wrong with a little prep in case of a natural disaster, like say if you live in a hurricane prone area like I do.  If you're of a certain mindset maybe even a little bug-out bag might be a good idea.  But full on-next-on-Doomsday-Preppers-hysteria just seems a little over the side and right out into the deep water to me folks.

So how do you spot a wack-a-doo in your normal daily life?  Just listen to what comes out of their mouth.  They may make perfect sense at first, believe me.  You may even find yourself agreeing with them at the outset.  They they drop that Amway - L Ron loves you - the government hates us all - my kids go to school on the planet Klatu and I need gas money to get there horseshit and you finally see through it all.

And then of course you spend the next week feeling like a complete dumbshit for not catching on sooner.  Yeah, that's a lot of fun.  But we live, learn, delete from Facebook, and mock endless in semi-public forums to make ourselves feel better and then move on.  Quickly.

Have a great one kids.  More to come.

A Few Random Thoughts

I've come to the conclusion that I really don't do all that well when left to my own devices for any substantial period of time.  At the moment my wife is away for the second of four weeks in Wilson attending Grooming School with her job at PetsMart.  Over the last twelve days or so I've cleaned my house to within an inch of its life, harassed my animals to within an inch of their collective four legged sanity and just generally made a nuisance of myself to my laptop in attempts to string words together into sentences.

Sadly what I'm down to at this point is cooking, cleaning, moderate consumption of alcohol and thinking far too much.  So, as a means of annoying everyone equally, here's a few things that have popped into ye olde brain basket over the last few days:

1)  It occurs to me that the "me" in my head is pretty much the same critter at 40 that I was at 20.  Yes I've grown and (debatably) matured, but for the most part I'm still the same dude. It further occurs to me that I don't really see that changing.  If I'm mentally and potentially psychologically the same monkey at 60 and 80 then it kind of takes the "heroics" out of growing older, doesn't it?  Essentially you just become the same cat in an ever more decrepit sack of aches and pains.

2)  Why did it take a Supreme Court decision to start up the discussion of repealing Affirmative Action?  Should using race as the basis of any decision, good or bad, automatically qualify as racism in our modern mindset?

3)  Someone in the fast food industry is actually paying attention for a change.  Between Taco Bell's breakfast and Chick Fil A's new grilled nuggets I can eat fast food and not feel like Toby the fluffy gut sloth anymore.  Rock on sirs.

4)  Why do we mow grass but eat weeds?

5)  I've come up with a one question test for someone considering adultery: can you bear the thought of your spouse finding out you cheated?  If no, then don't.  If yes, get divorced or just hide the body and be done with it.  See, simple.

6)  I realized that I've spent around $1,000 over the last ten years on toys for my largest dog.  Tennis balls are 3 for $1 and he loves them like old people love church.  I'm a moron.

7)  Have you ever noticed that most of the truly ignorant, bigoted, and just generally backward people are also among the most significantly economically disadvantaged?  Now I understand how Obama got elected.  He appealed to the poor, stupid, and those who just didn't know any better.

8)  It's a tough moment when you come to the realization that your gym bag is in such bad need of cleaning that the cats refuse to sleep in it anymore.

9)  I now understand that as I've gotten older my tastes in video games has changed.  I now only play games that are either well produced, high production value, deeply immersive experiences or brain candy.  My tolerances for middle of the road are just gone.  And then there's number 10...

10)  My wife has been playing South Park: The Stick of Truth lately.  I admit to having a bent, twisted, nearly broken sense of humor easily.  This game goes so far beyond "holy crap" and takes a deep left at "just damn" that I can't even easily describe it.  It's either a work of art or a door pass straight into hell, I'm not sure which.  Well done sirs, well done indeed.

And that's all I've got for tonight.

Apologies to Jack Handy.  

And anyone else who actually read all of this.

I'll do better tomorrow I swear...

My Fifty Cents on the Bundy Issue...

Good morning kids.

Believe it or not, no matter how many fliers I may take off into deep right center over some issue or another that has pissed me off beyond human recognition, I actually try pretty hard to not come off as some ultra-right wing conspiracy theorist Bill of Rights spewing wackadoo.  I’m usually the guy telling someone else to adjust their tin foil fedora for a little better reception from the mothership.

And then something like the bullshit that’s going on in Nevada right now over the whole Bundy Ranch issue starts up and I have to seriously consider taking stock in some good ol’ aluminium (British spelling sir, calm down) myself. 

I’m not going to take the time here to educate you on what’s going on if you’re not aware.  If you have no clue what I’m talking about I suggest you stop being a dipshit and learn a thing.  This is serious business folks and it sets a very, very dangerous precedent.

I’m also not going to preach and rant and rave on this subject.  I’ll save that for the radio show Thursday night. What I am going to do is to speak my mind on a few points and leave it at that.  We’ll debate whatever points you all wish or discuss ad nauseum at a later date.  I just need to get this out there.

So here are my points for thought on this issue:

1-      Mr. Bundy is in the wrong.  He’s illegally grazing his cattle on that land.  It’s a fact.

2-      This is a civil issue, not a criminal one, in all but the most narrow of interpretations.

3-      We have civil courts and a Sheriff’s Department in every county of this country to resolve these types of issues.  At its core this is an issue of imminent domain, jurisdiction, adverse possession, and overreach.

4-      Sending officers armed with automatic weapons and placing sniper teams on overwatch to effect the removal of illegally grazing cattle is akin to using a SWAT team to kick some dumbass out of government housing for not paying his $15 a month.

5-      The “militia” showing on said property was not effected by some group of nutballs.  These are concerned citizens who saw the potential for a complete erosion of their rights.  I’m not saying however there aren’t a couple o’ nutballs present, however.

6-      Question:  since when did the federal government become involved in a state land issue LEGALLY without either the purchase of said land from the state or the exercise of imminent domain?

7-      If you think for one minute that this situation has de-escalated because of the temporary withdraw of force by our government, you are sadly mistaken.

Folks, I have a bad feeling about this one.  I’m concerned that some moron, be they government employee behind a desk, law enforcement officer just trying to do their job, a law abiding citizen trying to protect their rights, or some asshole looking for a reason get his or her gun off is going to start an incident that will get someone, if not a lot of someone’s killed.  Cooler heads have to prevail here people.  Armed clashes are not what we need as a country UNLESS we’re ready, as a populace, to go all in and I just don’t see that as the case.  Not yet anyway.

However, that being said, I’d like to point out one thing.  Yes I understand the Supreme Court has upheld the right of the LOCAL AUTHORITIES to cordon off 1^st Amendment zones when protests can turn violent over known issues.  However, the same decision states that 1^st Amendment zones are illegal unless a clear and demonstrable danger exists BEFORE they are instituted.  Otherwise, and please pay attention Mr. Obama and company, OUR 1^ST AMENDMENT ZONE EXTENDS FROM THE FUCKING CANADIAN BORDER TO THE MEXICAN ONE AND GETS RATHER WET ON ITS EASTERN AND WESTERN MOST SIDES AND UNTIL I SEE OUR CONSITUTION BURNT TO A CINDER ON THE ALTER OF ULTRA-LIBERAL HOMOGENY THEN YOU CAN TAKE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO CONTINUALLY DEGRADE MY CONSTITUTIONALLY PROTECTED RIGHTS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR HIGH AND MIGHTY SOCIALIST ASS.

I’ll be waiting out front for the black SUV’s. 

I’ll be the one in the tin foil hat if you’re not sure how to find me.  

They seem to be becoming fashionable.