Wack-A-Doo

Now kids, I usually try to reserve my name-calling for those who actually deserve it.

Oh hell, who am I kidding?  I've thrown around enough misanthropic missives and questioned enough parentage, including genus, phyllum, and species, that I'm surprised the Church of Satan hasn't contacted me for their next rewrite of their holy scripture.  You know, the gospel according to L. Ron Hubbard?  But I digress...

A couple of weeks ago we as a nation were somewhat captivated, okay had our collective interests tweaked between reality shows, by the standoff between the Bureau of Land Management and the supposedly good folks out at the Bundy Ranch in Nevada.  During that conflict I had an opportunity to speak with a gentleman who was a friend of the Bundy family that lives in my local area as I was waiting to get on air for my Thursday night radio duties.  I was initially impressed by this man's fervor and concern for his family friends and "friend-ed" him on Facebook to keep up with the goings-on, as it were.

I'm not going to call this man out by name.  I will however suffice it to say that he has the complete, utter, and total honor of being the ONLY person I have summarily deleted from my Facebook page in well over two years.  Why you  may ask?

Simple.  This moron turned out to be a wack-a-doo.

For those of you not familiar with the term, let's just say that within a very few days I had a news feed full of more anti-government rhetoric spewing horseshit from people with less than a working handle on the written form of the English language than I ever expected.  Hell, it probably landed me on the last couple of watch lists for the NSA that I wasn't already on for my tendency to say silly little stuff like "FUCK OBAMA" on a fairly regular basis.

Pardon me just a moment.  Suddenly there's a black SUV in my driveway that I don't recognize.

.....

Never mind, it was just the Omaha Steaks guy looking for new business.

Moving on.

What never ceases to amaze me is how easily these fruitbars seem to infiltrate our lives when we're not looking.  And they're really not all that obvious anymore either.  A buddy of mine recently joined a "community preparedness" group.  My first thoughts: wackadoos but at least he's out of the house more.  Come to find out they're actually just a good group of guys that are concerned by our local government's lack of disaster and emergency preparation and planning.  Hell they're all even employed and vote.  To be completely honest I wouldn't mind hanging out with these guys a bit more often.  They're not wrong.

That being said however, try doing something innocuous like say ordering a thousand feet of paracord because you're bored and want to learn new things.  All of a sudden my inbox looks like a wackadoo orgy in progress with messages telling me how much my government hates me and how civilization is going to end because of Obama.  Okay that one might be true but still.  

Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe the zombies really are coming and the Democrats really do want to take everything I own and turn our country into a monstrous homogenized mosh pit where being white and male is a crime and our only civil right is the right to shut the fuck up.  I don't know.  I also don't think there's anything wrong with a little prep in case of a natural disaster, like say if you live in a hurricane prone area like I do.  If you're of a certain mindset maybe even a little bug-out bag might be a good idea.  But full on-next-on-Doomsday-Preppers-hysteria just seems a little over the side and right out into the deep water to me folks.

So how do you spot a wack-a-doo in your normal daily life?  Just listen to what comes out of their mouth.  They may make perfect sense at first, believe me.  You may even find yourself agreeing with them at the outset.  They they drop that Amway - L Ron loves you - the government hates us all - my kids go to school on the planet Klatu and I need gas money to get there horseshit and you finally see through it all.

And then of course you spend the next week feeling like a complete dumbshit for not catching on sooner.  Yeah, that's a lot of fun.  But we live, learn, delete from Facebook, and mock endless in semi-public forums to make ourselves feel better and then move on.  Quickly.

Have a great one kids.  More to come.