Clucking and Screeching

For those of you out there that are unmarried, pay very close attention.  I'm about to teach you a very valuable lesson.  This... is... how you get yourself in trouble with your wife. (I was going for the Ryan Seacrest American Idol commercial rip there but suddenly found it nearly impossible to convey timing and inflection with punctuation.  Just go with it dammit.)

 

I came to a stark and ultimately hilarious realization this past Sunday.  I was sitting at lunch with my family while my wife and my mother were talking away on some subject that had absolutely nothing to do with me.  I realized that when I de-tuned my ears to the actual words being used that the old joke about the "hens clucking" really is true.  In counterpoint, when a topic came up that was upsetting, the clucking devolved to screeching.  The realization struck me as so funny and I had to fight so hard to not laugh at it that I involuntarily clucked out loud while driving home from the restaurant.  I suddenly found myself having to explain to my wife that no, I wasn't having a stroke. 

 

I'm just an idiot.

 

Don't misunderstand me here; men are exactly the same except we do it with grunts and points.  Tim Allen was not wrong in one iota.

 

As far as the clucking and screeching, well, I'm not even going to take credit for the idea as I'm sure my addled brain ripped it off from somewhere or another. 

 

I'll use that as a point to ponder while I couch surf for the next few nights after my wife reads this...