When Common Sense and Politics Collide: Film At 11

How y'all doin' tonight kids?

Contrary to popular (and probably deserved) opinion, no, I haven't abandoned all of you just quite yet and disappeared into the ether.  It's been a crazy month, what can I tell ya.

One of the reasons I've stayed quiet a little longer than usual as of late was that I had to make a decision on whether or not to comment on the whole Trayvon Martin court decision and the almost immediately blooming shit storm that took root thereafter.  I had a response prepared and was ready with my very strongly worded opinion when I had a short Facebook conversation with an old high school friend.  We were on very different sides of the fence on that issue but we both felt the same way:  at its core the entire event was a significant tragedy for all involved. Thank you for the course correction Mr. Watson, it didn't fall on deaf ears.  I then made the decision just to step away from the subject and allow the talking heads their time in the sun (or moon or rain or whatever as the case may have been).  One more overgrown white guy with an opinion on the topic of misapplied racism in this country ain't gonna do nothin' more than piss someone else off and during that time it just wasn't needed.

So what's got me back to the keyboard, ready to bitch, moan, whine, pout, and otherwise just make an ass of myself as usual?  Well first and foremost I missed getting the chance to rant and rave and pass ideas back and forth with you all.  And secondly, well...

Let's just say I turned on the car radio this morning on the way into the local talk station for my regular Tuesday morning segment, heard the news, and damn near lost my shit in the middle of Highway 24!

The sudden near-bowel-loosening came from a news segment that stated that the ACLU, the NAACP, the Justice Department, and I'm not sure but maybe even the Super Friends were going to take legal action against North Carolina to challenge our newly minted voting laws.

Kids, there are times where What The Fuck just doesn't cover it.

And this, if you'll pardon the vernacular, be one of those times.

I'm trying not to be narrow minded about this and I've attempted to see both sides of the issue.  I really have, but I am having one hell of a time.  I wish someone can reasonably explain to me how requiring pre-registration by 24 hours and having a state issued photo ID as proof of residency is discriminatory or anti-voting rights?  I mean come the hell on people.  There is an election coming up in 2016 to get Captain Socialism et. al. out of office.  Last I checked it's August of 2013.  You mean to tell me that even the straight party ticket voting political overachievers who actually vote in the mid-term elections can't get their shit together and get a current ID by then? I mean for chrissakes we're about to start drug testing for WELFARE and that requires a state issued ID.  We're not even handing out pee cups to vote.  You can (and apparently a lot of folks were) be just as high as you'd care to be and still cast your vote.  Just have picture ID.  See, it's not that bad.

Look, let's make this simple.  To purchase a handgun in our great state you need a state issued ID to get a permit and have to pass a background check to prove you're not a felon or insane.  

Take a good look at the wreck our country is in and tell me that a vote might not be just as dangerous...

But hey, that's just my opinion and I could be... 

No you know what?

Screw it! On this one I'm just right!

Pimping For Friends

Hey kids!  Everyone needs to take a second to welcome my buddy Tatum K. Radcliffe to the blog-o-sphere.  She has recently relaunched her blog Arsenic, Spite, and Old Scars over here and we all need to show her some support.

I mentioned Tatum's writing a while back on the blog but, for all you new folks, let's give you a quick refresher.  I've known Tatum for a few years now and I have to say I have not met anyone else with a talent as a writer like hers.  She has a gift for making the twisted and grotesque seem beautiful and intimate.  As disturbing and uncomfortable as it was, I once read a short story of hers once that included a scene of graphic necrophilia that could almost bring you to tears.  

Yes, tears from necrophilia.  

I'm not kidding. 

She's also prepping her first novel Momento Mori for release hopefully soon.  Make sure you stop by and show her some love.

Welcome back to the land of the living Tatum!

Thanks for the Patience

It APPEARS that the software issue with my autoposter is corrected.

New posts should be coming your way later today.

Thanks for your patience!

Faith or Fear

Kids, your ol' buddy the CS finds himself in a rather difficult situation.

As many of you know I've made a strong point in the past about being very open and supportive   of everyone's right to practice their faith of choice.  Even Scientologists.  L. Ron love you, I may not understand you goofy bastards but I still have to support your right to stay just as clear as your operating thetan asses want to be.  I've stuck by this belief for a very long time and even had to defend it rather vehemently on a few occasions.  Up until recently I don't believe you could have shaken me away from this idea.

The problem I'm dealing with today is in regards to the Islamic faith.  Now there are, as many of you were about to blurt out before I had a chance to complete my sentence, a large population of the folks that practice this religion that love this country, are peaceful people, and are the furthest thing from "terrorists," etc. etc. so on and so forth.  Unfortunately there is a shocking rise  in the number of radical mosques in the world over the last ten years.  The clerics in these mosques are actively teaching a more jihadist and anti-Western rhetoric.  Most recently of note would be the mosque where the two men worshiped that beat that British soldier to death in the middle of the street.  CNN released a report just last week stating that over the last five years or so that particular mosque had become reputed to have moved from more mainstream Islamic teachings to a much more violent bent.  Sadly, this is apparently becoming a world wide phenomenon.

So here's my quandry in as plain a language as I can muster: if the overall tenets of a faith are experiencing a shift worldwide to beliefs that are actively hostile to our American way of life, how long can we continue to provide the same level of protection for that faith on our soil?

Mind you, I'm not advocating revoking the Muslims right to practice their faith.  I find myself disturbed, however, when legislation comes to light that is attempting to prevent the investigation of these more radical mosques in our own country.  I find it to be greatly concerning that no matter what kind of threat they may pose.

Of course I'm also finding myself very highly concerned when our current administration tries to quell the first amendment rights of those who choose to take issue with the Islamic faith as well. Yeah, well, we'll just save that little bit for another post...

Again, I'm not advocating the restriction of anyone's rights to practice their faith.  I'm not being racist, evil, discriminatory, or ignorant in any way.  I am advocating the same transparency for their practices and teachings that all other faiths in this country are subject to, and I would actively encourage the investigation of any activity that poses a threat to our country.

Finally I'd like to make a request to anyone of the Islamic faith that is willing to respond.  Please explain to me why so many in your faith feel it necessary to protect those who truly wish to threaten our country and way of life by preventing legitimate investigation into the matter of terrorist activity.

Sense and Accountability

Hey kids.  As I write this post I'm sitting in a courtroom waiting to deal with a minor criminal matter my employer is pursing against a former customer that chose not to be a reasonable human being.

The parade of humanity rolling through the courtroom is nothing new.  I've had to do this as part of my job for years and unfortunately rent to own cases fall in general duty district court along with every-frickin-thing else the court needs to do that day.  What is still just shocking to me, however, is the staggering percentage of people who refuse to take any form of responsibility or accountability for their actions.

Look let me put this simply.  We all make mistakes, some larger and more complicated than others.  When you screw up, and we all do, do what you need to fix the issue.  Own up to your mistake.  Fix it. Make it right. If life's taught me anything it's that you can't fix something you've fucked up if all you want to do is to blame someone else constantly.  The only true way to fix your mistakes in this life is to claim responsibility, make it right, and move the hell on.

Case in point:  I've watched this judge toss people in jail with a rather stylish aplomb all morning long.  A kid just walked in front of him a few moments ago and said: "Your honor, I please guilty and would like to handle this today.  I made a stupid mistake that won't happen again.  I have money on me to pay all court costs and fines.  It's my fault and I'm sorry."

Wow!

Now you should also know that this was a fairly minor infraction.  I have to give it to the kid though for showing some serious balls and accountability for his actions.  Bravo in my opinion.

Apparently in the judges opinion as well as he dismissed the case without prejudice after thanking the kid for being straight up about his mistakes and taking responsibility.  He didn't even make him pay court costs.

Who knew, huh?

.....Oh yeah and just one more thing.  You should be aware that if you're a guy that picks a fight with your obviously Cross-Fit addicted girlfriend and she stomps a mud hole in your ass to the point that you end up in a neck brace and walking with a cane, appearing in court and whining to the judge may not be the smartest or most manly of moves.  In case you were wondering the very second the courtroom door closed behind you every single alpha male with a badge and gun (and those not armed at that particular moment) in that place was snickering and cracking jokes on your simple ass.  Yeah stud I might settle that one out of court if I were you there hoss.  Just sayin'...

Uh... Oops!

Sorry kids, I was attempting to use a new piece of software this week to broadcast the CS to multiple places and needless to say things didn't go as planned.

Instead of going everywhere it went nowhere.

Just, well, ... shit!

Well, just forgive me for flooding a bunch of posts over the next few hours.

Mail Call (Late of Course): A Quickie Note of Clarification

As I've just restarted the blog in full force I only had one email to respond to for the Friday Mail Call last week.  I gave it the weekend then decided to go ahead and answer the question today and keep any new emails for this week's MC.

The question I received was from a new acquaintance in the Morehead City area that wanted to know when my radio show was on and what I was going to be talking about each week, etc.  

Okay, now would probably be a great time for some clarification.

Yes I am on the local talk radio station once a week (Tuesday mornings at 6:30 a.m.) HOWEVER it is for my day job with Electronics Plus and not, I repeat, not affiliated with my work as an author or with this blog.  The weekly show is called Answers in High Definition and covers topics related to HDTV and the like.  There is, however, an opportunity as I approach the launch date for Hurricane Carolina to do some "local author" press through the station and I'm looking forward to working with them on that front.

As for an actual CS flavored radio show on a weekly basis... 

I honestly had never given that idea any thought or merit.  But hey, if Dennis Miller can pull away from mainstream and go podcast based, it might be worth looking into.  Who knows what the future holds as they say.

Remember you can post your questions and comments on the blog directly or via email at thecynicalsarcatic@gmail.com.

Oh XBox... Why?

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you've probably caught on to the fact that I'm a bit more than a casual gamer.  I've been pretty much locked in to the XBox360 for six years or so now, thanks in no small part to my wife and her family and our slightly unorthodox family outings into the world of Call of Duty.

Needless to say I was pretty excited about the announcement of the new XBox One to be released this fall... until I actually watched the press conference.

So let me make sure I understand this.  My console has to connect to the Internet once every 24 hours or my games lock out? The camera is ALWAYS on?  The console logs everything I watch to make suggestions? I can't trade in my games unless A PUBLISHER SAYS IT'S OKAY? I can't lend a buddy my copy of a game without losing my rights to it?  My beloved GameFly account will be useless unless they "decide" to activate rental licenses?

Kids, it's bad enough we've got a potus in office who wants us all to live in an Orwellian nightmare.  You know, this one:

Why in the fucking hell would I want to voluntarily give some company an always on camera in my living room and then give them permission to chart everything I watch in order to provide me better suggestions and marketing opportunities.  Not that I'm some 14 year old kid with a predilection for anime porn and Skimamax but still... really? We deal with enough of that crap already in our digital world.  But you expect me to pay $499 for the privilege? Is there a polite way to tell someone to take your written notice to go fuck yourself, roll it up neatly, and anally fist themselves with it?

Oh wait, actually there is...

Sony did it when it announced the PS4 would be $100 cheaper, remembered the actual hardcore gamers that got them there to start with instead of trying to monopolize the living room, and would be able to share games just as we do now.  I have never seen so many grown men (well gamers anyway) laugh quite as hard as I've seen people guffaw at this video.

And this ladies and gentlemen is how easily Sony pulled my future console purchase away from Microsoft and flipped the biggest bird I've seen in a very, very long time up toward ol' Redmond, Washington:

I believe the words you're looking for are 

GAME - SET - MATCH bitches!

Test Post for Automatic Facebook Delivery

Well let's see how this works out...

Fighting With Your Characters

Hey kids.   As a way to get this ol' ball rolling once again, I thought I'd share a little more about the process of being a writer and some of my recent experiences while working on my upcoming novel Hurricane Carolina.  You'll notice the title of this post is "Fighting With Your Characters."

The subtitle should be "Or How to Finally Realize You're Just Being a Dumbass."

One of the great parts of being a writer of any degree is that your imagination is the only true limit to the people and places you can create.  The flip side of that is also that if you, at least in my opinion, do your job right and create deep and complex characters you run the very high risk of having them become a little too real on you sometimes and suddenly this fictional person or that group of fictional people you've created have their own story to tell that may not exactly be what you had planned from the outset.

And no, before you call the guys in the padded van with the specially fit strappy-jackets, I've not gone around the bend and started talking to the voices in my head.

Yet.

I'm sure a little more exposition may be in order here before someone tries to up my dosage, possibly involuntarily.  As I've been working on HC for the past six months or so I've developed a very long and complicated narrative with some fairly deeply constructed characters.  I finished the first draft of the book in a barely readable form in December to the tune of around 800 pages.  Yeah, 800 pages.  It's okay, I said 'Holy Shit' too.  The problem I had is that for some reason I just didn't like the story in that form.  It didn't seem 'real' enough to me to be believable. I sort of pride myself on writing characters that get a reaction from my readers, even if it is vehement hate as in the case of Mack from Bounce.  I'll take what I can get.  The problem here though is that I just didn't buy the story, particularly the ending.  It felt forced and crappy and left me ready to throw the whole damn thing in a drawer and pull it out six years from now after another book does well. 

Wait, I did that with By Design.  Damn.

And then the crazy happened.  I was driving down the highway on my way back to my house last Sunday afternoon when an epiphany hit me hard enough to make me pull over to the side of the road.  It wasn't that the story sucked (well not totally anyway).  The problem was that I wasn't telling the story that THOSE PARTICULAR CHARACTERS had to tell.  I know it sounds a little clown shoes but what I've been fighting with so hard all this time is trying to create a relationship for two characters that moved toward a predestined ending when what I should have been doing is "listening" to them to start with and letting them tell me their story the whole time.

Robert E. Howard had it right after all I guess.  If he could let Conan tell him all his tales of high adventure who am I to deny a couple of knuckleheads out of my imagination their say so?

So there you have it aspiring fiction writers.  When you're characters speak, listen.

It might just save you 600 pages of really good trunk novel nonsense.

Welcome to the (Hopefully Improved) Cynical Sarcastic!

Welcome to the unofficial "relaunch" of the Cynical Sarcastic! 

I hope everyone enjoys the new design for the blog and some of the (hopefully) more user-friendly tools I've put in there for your use.

One of the reasons I've decided to do a bit of a relaunch is that there are a number of new visitors to blog since I've relocated to Morehead City and I thought that since there are going to be more newbies floating thru a coat of paint wouldn't be the worst idea I've ever had.  I've also decided to (finally) adopt a regular format of three or four posts during the week and Friday Mail Call on a much more regular basis.

So, whether you're a new visitor to the CS or you've been putting up with my ranting and raving for a few years now, welcome!  There are a couple of things I should cover for you all right out of the gate, particularly for you new people.  First and foremost you should understand that I use this blog to air my opinions of just about anything and everything and you can probably count on any given post having a fair-to-reasonable chance of fluctuating back and forth across that NSFW line.  I am not now nor have I ever been shy with my opinion and this blog is absolutely no exception.  Feel free to comment on anything I post either in the comments section or via email at thecynicalsarcastic@gmail.com.  Please be aware that I usually use Fridays as a day to respond to email, usually with no regard to quantity, quality, or need for discretion.  I also use this blog to talk about my experiences as an author, which has been an interesting journey to say the least.

Well, now that we're all set back up and ready to rock n' roll, let's end the post with a quick giveaway offer.  The first ten people to email me or comment on the website (that provide me with a return email address that is) will receive a free e-book copy of both of my novels, Bounce and By Design.  

Welcome again and I hope to hear from you soon!

I'm Baaaaack!

So, how to start back after taking an entire month off to write, reflect, live, and learn?

Should I break out the oh-dear-God-that's-so-tired "it's been awhile" joke?

Should I wax poetic about all the wonderful things that can happen in my little brain after taking a step back to let the world mull around in my little cranium?

How about some form of grandiose and verbose line of over-stylized bullshit to explain my absence?

Or how about I just get back to doing what I do best:  speaking my mind and saying FUCK a lot!

All kidding aside it really is good to be back at the keyboard.  I've spent the last month hammering away on the new book, spending a bunch of time in the gym, and really trying hard to kill myself.  And yes, I truly meant to call it hammering on the new book because just like trying to forge steel this thing has turned into a gigantic labor and humongous pain in the dick.  As much as I love this story and all of the characters, this thing is beginning to turn into the biggest labor pain riddled activity any creature with testicles has undertaken in quite a while.  Hell I think the guy who's trying to sanitize Obama's sins may have an easier job some days.

For those of you that were keeping score, yes that means that I am going to have to push back the publication date for Hurricane Carolina for a bit from May to probably August just to make sure this puppy sees the light of day in the form it was meant to and not as the hideous CHUD it is in its current state.  Also, right in the middle of scribbling away on that project I have been completely, utterly, and unexpectedly sidetracked by the appearance of a new idea which is starting to slowly but surely take root.  Sometimes you've just got to love being a writer.

Oh yeah, I mentioned trying really hard to kill myself early.  I should probably explain.  Here's the mental image for you: take one jacked up Toyota Titan pickup, add two ramps off the tailgate at an extremely steep angle, and my stupid and in a hurry ass trying to load/ride a riding mower up said ramps for a customer as quickly as possible.  Three feet off the ground and Murphy and the laws of physics strike and the mower with my large ass on board promptly rolls backward and it drops me on my back prior to landing on me.  Yep, 500 pounds of mower decided to whoop my ass.  Two weeks later I'm still a bit sore but on a happy note at least I know that all the damn time in the gym I've been spending at least gave me the power to shove the thing off me.  God did that suck.  I only wish there was a camera somewhere.  The ten minutes of YouTube fame would've been kinda cool, even if it would have been for abject stupidity.

Well, now that I've ripped of the band-aid off and gotten back on the blog, here's to talking to you all again in the next few!

Thanks for still paying attention!

Reloading on Gun Control

I need to concede a couple of points here before I begin this post.

1)  Yes I have touched on gun control previously.  If you're a long time reader of this blog you know how much I hate to recycle topics but if the truth is truly to be told I held back a good deal last time and, to be honest, so much more nonsense has occurred of late that it's just time we revisit it a bit, shall we?

2)  Some of my comments may echo the previous post from Mr. Craft.  It's okay, we happen to agree on the topic.  Granted it's one of maybe fifty times since we were in elementary school but hey, take it and run with it when you can, right?

Okay, on to this issue.

Let's cut right to it.  I CALL BULLSHIT AND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POLITICIAN THAT PUTS THEIR NAME BESIDE THESE DUMBASS PROPOSALS OUR EXCUSE FOR A PRESIDENT IS TRYING TO RAM DOWN OUR CITIZENS' THROATS SHOULD NOT ONLY BE MORBIDLY ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES BUT DISMISSED FOR INCOMPETENCE!

Kids, there is absolutely nothing a new background check system is going to do for illegal handgun sales.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  All it's going to do is allow our government to know exactly who owns weapons and who doesn't.  Period.  If you are personally naive enough to believe that it's not a goal of our current administration to completely remove or at least critically impinge your second amendment rights then I truly feel for you.

Next, in order for any member of congress to competently make a decision on what kind of guns are a danger to the public and which ones are not, I think it should be mandatory that not only have they actually fired a weapon in their life but that they have military service in their background.  Either that or I want someone to tell me where I can buy a .223 round that will penetrate a M-1 Abrams tank.  No that's okay I'll wait... And yes, in case you missed it, that was an actual illustration used in testimony in congress.  Fucking ignoranamouses (or however you actually spell that redneck madeup superlative for a whole flock of dumbass!)

Do I mind background checks for firearms purchases?  As they stand now no.  Felons have lost that right in this society and the mentally infirm THAT POSE A THREAT DO NOT NEED THEM.  However, and mark my words on this, we are heading down a slope now that eventually the fact that you needed a script for Xanex to make it through your mother's death a decade ago will eventually be used to deny you your Constitutionally protected rights to own a weapon.  

Folks we have a sitting president (I still refuse to capitalize the title while this clown is in office) that actually made the comments in two press conferences that he is unable to enact the legislation he believes is right because he is not "EMPORER" of the United States and that he is "hampered by restraints set on him by our founding fathers!"  Thank the damn Lord in heaven for that one (or Paradise, Valhalla, etc.  Sorry I'm ill and don't have time to cover all the usual religious bases).  

Yes, we do need background checks conducted within reason for firearms sales.  Felons shouldn't get them.  Violently mentally ill people (aka I've been thinking about stabbing 14 people since I was 8...hmm...) don't need them either.  I'm great with that.  You know, quite honestly I'm not the biggest fan of civilians owning fully automatic weapons either even though I've been close enough to a few bear to make me reconsider my stance.  But come on folks.  Are we really stupid enough (or did enough of the stupid among us vote) to allow our heavily armed government to tell us they need to know who is armed and who isn't?  

I've said it before and I mean it.  We live in a crazy world.  I should carry with what I do for a living, but I don't.  I try to talk to people like their adults and that usually stops the b.s. before it jumps off.  I wish I could convince my wife to carry.  She's small and the bad guys usually aren't.  And as far schools go... I WILL GLADLY UP MY NRA DUES TO HELP PAY FOR AN SRO OR TWO IN EVERY SCHOOL IN THIS STATE.  I'd join the PTA just to help donate ammo if necessary.  I still challenge anyone to tell me why it's so wrong to protect our children with guns, even from each other in sad occasional cases, when it's perfectly acceptable for the kids of the rich or politically important to be guarded by brick walls with Marine Corps pedigrees and MP-fucking-5's.  Again, I'm waiting...

And lastly, although mainly it's just so I can vent and don't inadvertently pimp slap the next imbecilic goat rapist that says it in my vicinity, A GUN HAS YET TO KILL ANYONE ON ITS OWN, EVER.  GUNS ARE TOOLS, JUST LIKE A HAMMER.  IF YOU BAN GUNS BECAUSE THEY CAN KILL THEN YOU NEED TO TAKE A HARD LOOK IN YOUR GARAGE BUDDY.  THAT BIG OL' TOOLBOX YOU'VE GOT IN THE CORNER IS JUST LOADED WITH LETHALITY SHOULD YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.

I heard someone the other day, or quite possibly read it on Facebook, proffer the idea that we should all begin to openly carry, in a law abiding manner of course, just to piss off the anti-gun nuts.  The idea has some admitted merit.  If anything it'd be an interesting social experiment to say the least.  Personally, if this nonsense continues, I say we all dress up for Halloween as law abiding, legally and openly carrying handgun owners and parade right down Main Street USA.

(By the way, according to some of this potential legislation, just being willing to participate in an event like that could be used to call my mental faculties into question... see how this works yet kids?)

A Cookie for Intelligent Thought

Before I get off on my own little series of rants, I'd like to post the thoughts of a friend of mine for your consumption.  First and foremost, the gentleman in question is named Ed Craft.  I grew up with this guy and can tell you without a doubt that the dude's got more than just a couple of old rusty bolts rattling around in that noggin of his.  I'm posting this directly from his Facebook feed, so if you backtrack through my FB you can probably locate him as well if you'd like to add to his thought, pat him on the back, etc.

Simply put kids I'm posting this through my blog so hopefully more people will have an opportunity to read a little truth.  It appears that it's becoming more and more in short supply as the days go by.

And now some genius from the land of the big FB...

-----

Forgive me for a moment... let's consider a few things... and let me clear up a few...

<rant>

1. The Senate has decided to move forward on gun control legislation they haven't even read. DOES IT PISS ANYONE ELSE OFF THAT THE PEOPLE YOU VOTED INTO OFFICE PASS LEGISLATION THEY DON'T EVEN READ?!?!?! They did the same effin' thing with Obamacare - look at the disaster that's turned out to be. Here's how to fix it. #1: Set term limits for those idiots. #2: Establish a provision that allows representatives to be removed from office at any point they break campaign promises or prove themselves incompetent. #3: Fire the bunch we have now immediately and get new ones. (Another somewhat related point - #4: eliminate lobbists and lobby groups.)

2. "Expanded background checks" would do VERY little to curb gun violence. These proposed checks would have done NOTHING to prevent Colorado or Newtown. (Don't get me started on Newtown and the "rash" of mass shootings recently.) Here's a secret, criminals don't necessarily buy their guns from dealers. They get them on the gray or black markets. Many even just steal them from people who purchase them lawfully. Who's really to determine the state of your mental health? Too many people think you're crazy if you don't agree with their viewpoints. ("Guns are bad." "I like them." "You're mentally unstable." Get my point?) What these checks *will" do is set up the foundation for a national registry which WILL eventually lead to confiscation. Ask Australia, Britain or Canada. Look at violent crime rates in Australia and Britain and tell me how well that worked out for them.

3. THERE IS NO "GUN SHOW" OR INTERNET LOOPHOLE. FFL dealers are required to run a NICS background check on every weapon they sell - even at gun shows or over the internet. The only sales that do not require a background check (in most states) are private sales between individuals. I work gun shows almost every weekend. I would know. Want to know about internet dealers? Go online and do some actual research for yourself.

4. Has anyone else noticed POTUS acting directly OPPOSITE of just about EVERY campaign promise he made? The most recent - he campaigned against closing military bases, but now that's on his agenda. All while he's wanting to dump almost $200M into Guantanamo Bay - which he promised to close. In 2006 he said, "America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership." Okay. Sure. He followed that immediately by saying, "America deserves better." Is that what he gave us? Partially. The first part - he's gotten us into more debt (and pushing for more) than any other president. So he hasn't solved that part. He's doing a good job of leading us... to ruin. So that part can be argued. But I will agree with him on this... AMERICA DESERVES BETTER.

5. Since you brought him up... While the POTUS is expanding his power to kill whomever he deems a threat, he and his administration are working as hard as possible to take away YOUR RIGHT to defend your family. There's a serious problem when the people with guns are telling you that you shouldn't have any.

6. There's no "progress" in the "Progressive" movement - unless it's the progression of hypocrisy. "Leave my body alone! But pay for my abortions and birth control." "People should be free to worship (or not) as they see fit - unless you're a Christian." I can go on and on.

7. America is a Christian nation founded on Christian principles. The 1st amendment makes provision that people can worship as they see fit. You want to be Muslim, Buddhist, or even Agnostic or Atheist? No problem. Rock on. You have that right. But don't you dare come at me or my faith. Don't like the 10 Commandments on the wall of the court house? Don't like legislators opening with a prayer? Get over it. Move somewhere else. You don't have to read them - nor do you have to participate in the prayer. It was a small group of Christians that fought the British tyranny to provide this great country for you to live in. Want "us" to leave "you" alone out of respect for your religion (or lack thereof)? Practice what you preach, hypocrite. I don't hear you raising hell about Jews and Christians being persecuted and murdered in the Middle East or Asia by those who hate them and have laws against religious freedom. Oh. Wait. That's right. It falls right in line with your persecution - just a more extreme line.

8. While we're on that subject... the notion of the gov't stripping the non-profit status of "Christian" organizations because of their stances and beliefs is idiotic. The concept of organizations or groups of people suing an organizations because of their stances and beliefs is even dumber. Once again... this is America. You don't like a particular organization or business, patronize another one. There isn't one? Start your own.

9. Segue into this point... we have become such a pansy-@$$, bleeding heart society it sickens me. Everyone is so afraid to say what they believe or think out of fear of offending someone else. They don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Why? #1, it's because you don't have a freakin' backbone. #2, because people will sue each other over ANYTHING these days. Remember the 1st Amendment of which you're such an advocate? Just like you, I have the right to think and say what I want. Even if you don't like it or it doesn't line up with what you think. Man up. Get over the fact that not every one thinks like you do or agrees with you. It's a simple fact of life.

10. While I'm at it... I don't understand why *anyone* still lives in NY, NJ, MD, CT, or CA. Yes, the weather and food and scenery in CA (especially SOCAL) is great, BUT...

</rant>

My Very Own Green Light

I come back online to post for the first time in a few weeks tonight with a bit of a heavy heart and head.  Unlike some times in the past when work or the book I was working on or some other random nonsense has gotten in the way of publishing my thoughts to the blog with the frequency I would have liked, this two plus week period of silence from me has been self imposed.  Whether for good or bad this blog, since its inception, has been both a place for me to voice my opinions and has grown into a place where my fan base (such that it is) and I can interact and the like.  The problem with this comes in when I feel like what I have to say will be alienating to a good deal of people.  Hey, the simple fact of the matter here folks is that I do continue to write novels and want to be able to sell a few more here and there before I'm done.  

Hence the slavish adherence to the ol' audience principle.

Over the last few weeks, however, something's been building up inside of me.  Actually quite literally building up: I've discovered that out of nowhere I know get to deal with the same acid reflux issues my mother does and its not made me a happy person by any extent.  I started trying to figure out what has spawned this malady and it occurred to me that even though my life has been rolling forward with a massive positive momentum over the last five months, I'm not doing the one thing I've done for over year and a half now: I'm not speaking my mind and sharing my thoughts through the blog.  

Then I remind myself of the audience thing once again.

Then I chug some more pink stuff and go back to work.

Then I start thinking again.  There's a lot to say.

And we're back to the audience rule.

And then the pink stuff.

For those of you familiar with Fitzgerald's Gatsby, you'll understand the green light reference I made in the title.  Since quite literally the end of March I believe my blog has been sitting out there in the distance, blinking its little ass off at me in Morse Code.

Alright already, I get the message you goddamned malfunctioning party favor from Ryan Reynold's Green Latern premiere party!  I'll write already... just knock it off!

And so, with that being said, kids I need to unload a bit so you might as well get comfortable.

In the interest of your time, not mine, I'm going to break this up by topics over the next few days. I hope you enjoy what I have to say.  Hell, hopefully you agree with me, but if not that's just as cool as well.  

The fact is folks that apparently I just can't stay shut up any longer.

And here... we... (thanks for the ever so applicable quote Heath Ledger) go!

Who Am I Again?

Kids, I'm (finally) here to tell ya... I'm officially a believer in the theory that it is entirely possible for a person to wear just too many damn hats in their life!  I wondered why I've been so exhausted and running on just about empty at all times lately.  Then, I saw a quick snippet of an infomercial over the weekend that sort of resonated with me and I thought I'd take a moment to share my realizations.

The commercial was for one of those "I'm up at two in the morning so I must need some kind of guidance in my life" self-help video series, but the tagline was what caught my attention.  It asked one simple question:  "Exactly Who Are You?"

Now let's be clear before I start meandering through the rest of this post.  NO I'M NOT HAVING A MIDLIFE WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN CRISIS!  Actually far from it.  No what grabbed me is that the list of things that falls into that question has grown quite immense lately.  I started to think about it and here's the list I came up with:

Husband - Son - Brother - Uncle - Friend - Manager - Author - Blogger - Powerlifter

 - Aspiring Chef - Gamer - Tech Nerd - - - - - 

What occurs(ed) to me is that there's absolutely not enough time on a daily basis for any of us to be all the things we want to be, well that is if you intend to do a remotely good job at all of them.  I think the challenge is going to come in figuring out how to balance everything and still remain productive at work and the like.

Or actually I could just shorten the whole thought process and cheat and ask a working single parent how they do it... 

Ain't Technology Grand?

Well once again boys and girls your buddy the CS is back to bitching, moaning, pissing, groaning, and just generally attempting to be a nuisance to anyone that will let me get away with it.  In other words...

THE LAPTOP FAIRY CAME BY AND I'M BACK ONLINE KIDDIES!!!

It's amazing what little can actually be accomplished on a laptop with a broken hinge and case. You would have never guessed it but believe it or not those darned things are actually somewhat allergic to getting dropped on their edges.  

Who knew?

Well let's see, that means that over the course of the last 16 months or so I've now sent an Acer and a Compaq to the digital happy hunting grounds.  Hopefully this Toshiba will see me through at least long enough to get the next book finished!

And while we're on the subject of technology, I'd like to jump overboard for just a moment and say my peace on the matter.  Folks, I love tech of just about any kind.  I'm a huge gadget nerd and I admit it.  It has lately, however, become very painfully and annoyingly evident to me just how much human beings seem to be moving away from the capacity to actually friggin' speak to one another in lieu of texts, tweets, posts, and other digital chicanery. It's gotten bad enough that I have a very good friend who (and yes he already knows this so it's not like this is really news to him) drives me completely nuts with his unwillingness to talk to someone on the damn phone.  He'd rather text.  And it's not just me... he does this with women he hopes to show his genitalia in a slightly less creepier than Jason-Mewes-with-devil-on-shoulder montage!  (Points if you get it, you Scooby Van driving Jersey freak, but move along if you don't.)  Maybe that's why I'm glad I'm nowhere near single nowadays.  I don't know how I'd function in a world where you have to text to get a little.  But then again I do sort of fancy myself a writer... hmmm....

(The next two pages of self indulgent diatribe are hereby deleted in an attempt to avoid the catastrophically devastating ass whipping my wife would deliver should she ever read what I just wrote. Just damn, son.)

And on that note we'll just move on along and pretend that didn't almost happen.

Have a great night kiddies.  The tools are back in hand and the words they be a-flowing.  Sleep while you can!

Dear Taylor Swift

Let's just go right on ahead and stomp on that ol' NSFW button, shall we?

(Hey, at least I had the courtesy to warn you in advance.)

Okay kids, it's officially reached that magical time where your buddy the CS had just about enough of yet another dumb ass.  Yep, you guessed it, it's time for a fan letter to little Ms. Taylor Swift.

Dear Taylor Swift,

Just so we're clear, the opinions and notions I'm going to include in this letter are directed solely to Taylor Swift (Inc.), the soulless, highly uncreative Disney-reject animatron that has been proliferating herself into our collective consciousness over the last few years.  I'm sure there's actually a pretty decent human being hiding somewhere in there and I don't want the vehement spewing of incendiary material that's about to come heaving over the wall to accidentally nail her with any splash damage.

I'll admit that at one time I was a fan.  The whole cute girl with a guitar and a slight country twang hooked me whether I wanted it to or not.  I bought in, I'll own up to it.  "Teardrops on My Guitar" even got a short story out of me.  You had some decent lyrics and some fairly catchy stuff going on there.  I even made a few mental comparisons to Faith Hill and found them to not really be out of bounds.

And then, well to steal a page from Dina Lohan (God help me for doing so), all I can ask is "Honey, what the hell happened?"

It seems like in a little less than the course of two years you went from making decent country music to revenge albums to get back at your seemingly never ending stream of ex-boyfriends.  And then you started apparently opening your mouth in public without a handler's okay in advance and it went straight to hell from there.  Not to be crass but come the fuck on sweetheart, "Baking and Fucking"? Really?  Are your serious?  Girl the only time the words baking and fucking should ever end up in the same thought, let alone sentence, is if you're wearing the same apron for both activities.  

As for the endless string of men, well, I have a little piece of advice for you Ms. Taylor that would unfortunately probably end your career but make you a much happier human being.  Have you taken a long hard look at the endless string of dipshit you've been letting between your legs honey?  I mean for chrissakes!  How many hipster vest and fedora clad douchebags do you need to fake an orgasm with to generate an album's worth of material?  Or did you hit your head a little to hard on the headboard the one time John Mayer bent you over doggy / tried to pretend you were the guy he really wanted to be balls deep in after all and you just fell into a bad hipster rut?  In any event, here's the cure you're in need of sweetie: find a real man to take you out, treat you well, then epically screw you're brains out until you're overcome with the need to go grab that aforementioned apron again and make a brother a sandwich.  Stop fishing off the same old pier and go after a real, normal guy.  I know a couple of volunteers, but sadly they all just want to sleep with you to get a breakup song written about them.  So far I think my favorite title I've heard was "He Put It In My Ass So I Broke His Heart" but I'm sure you're much more creative than a group of monkeys at the gym.

Am I being overly harsh? Bet your tiny but shockingly well formed ass on it dear. You're growing into your looks finally and you've got a lot of talent and potential for a very long career.  Sadly you're also showing grand potential as a cum gargling revenge spewing record hag who will spend her forties married to some dirtbag local politician while trying to remain relevant in Nashville.... oh never mind they've already made that television show.

Suffice it to say that you will never ever ever (you have no idea how much I hate that fucking song by the way) get me to buy another thing you put out until you learn to close your legs and get back to writing good music.  For fuck's sake girl, buy a vibrator like the rest of your ilk and get your shit back under control.

Sincerely,

The CS

I Swear That's Not the Cover!

Okay kids now this is truly funny...

A little earlier this evening I updated the blog page with a temporary place holder image for Hurricane Carolina.  I've already received two emails emploring me not to publish the book with  such a horrible cover.  I KNOW IT SUCKS PEOPLE! I WAS JUST GOOFING AROUND WITH PHOTOSHOP TO SEE WHAT AN IDEA MIGHT LOOK LIKE!

In all seriousness I do have a pretty awesome cover in mind for the book which I'm hoping I'll be able to get into production over the course of the next few months.  But I do appreciate the interest nevertheless.  

More to come...

Mail Call: Adventures in Misadventures

Well kids I can honestly say that I have missed you all and it's really fucking great to be back.

Yes, I said fuck in the first line of a post.

And the second.  Would you look at that .  Fuck, there's another one.

Hey, three for three.  I'd call that a capital way to start things up again since I've been on a bit of a hiatus while I've been living out of cardboard boxes.  The great thing about moving is that you realize exactly how much crap you've collected since the last time you did the get out of Dodge fandango.  The crappy part is the sheer volume of that crap. Of course I couldn't even move out of a dorm room in college easily.  I seem to remember several times that friends had to help me maneuver an oversize couch in and out of a Walker dorm elevator.  Given that it's no small wonder that nearly twenty moves later I'm still nearly impossible to relocate easily.  You may send my wife your condolences at your leisure.  She's earned them.

So as I'm getting back in ye old grove for the umpteenth time, I decided to check the mailbox and see if there were any questions to be answered.  There was one question out of the small pile of email that I wanted to reply to directly.  The question was simple: where does a writer go to get inspiration?  Well it's kind of like asking how does an Arab learn to speak Norse: to paraphrase Antonio Banderas in The 13th Warrior, "LISTEN."  As writers we are supposed to be students of human nature, at least to an extent.  Between the stories my friends and I have from over the years and what I hear or for chrissakes witness on a daily basis I have a veritable trove of misadventures from which to draw inspiration.  Why misadventures you ask?  Simple.  No one wants to read boring shit we all do on a daily basis.  Although, now that I mention it, I would love to figure out how to write an interesting story about a guy taking the browns to the bowl.  Just for giggles of course.  The point is that we all have really great stories.  EVERY SINGLE PERSON you have ever met has some great story worth telling in some way or another.  

On the actual writing front, I am finally back to work on Hurricane Carolina.  I'm shooting for a completion date sometime in April with a mid-May launch date.  For those of you that have asked, I will be posting a synopsis online sometime in the next week.  Also, for those who were curious, it's looking to be similar in length to By Design, somewhere in the 400 page count or so.  Finally, for those who need it, yes the book should be somewhere around two and a half inches thick and should nicely fix that wobbly table leg.

Well on those couple of notes kids I think it's officially time to turn in for the night and try again tomorrow.  Be good because someone needs to and we'll talk again soon!